MY STORY

I WAS MARRIED OFF AT THE AGE OF 17 AND AT 18, I WENT TO LIVE WITH THE FATHER OF MY DAUGHTER IN THE GAMBIA....A TEENAGER WHO HAD JUST WRITTEN HER GCE’O LEVEL EXAMS. LEAVING BEHIND FAMILIAR FACES FOR THE UNKNOWN. I WAS CONFUSED AS ADAPTING TO A NEW AND TOTALLY DIFFERENT CULTURE AND ALSO TAKING UP MARITAL/ GROWN UPS RESPONSIBILITIES WERE HUGE CHALLENGES. I HAD TO GROW UP FAST. I LOST ALL OF MY CHILD HOOD FRIENDS WHEN I LEFT SIERA LEONE AND UP TILL THIS DAY I CANNOT BOAST OF ANY. EVERY THING WAS LEFT BEHIND...MY INNOCENCE, MY CHILD HOOD AND MY HOME. ONE THING HOWEVER THAT I DID NOT LOOSE AND STILL CHERISH DEARLY IS TO IMPROVE MY LIFE ACADEMICALLY. MOST TIMES I WOULD WAKE UP IN THE MORNINGS WITH

TEARS ON MY FACE, WISHING THAT IT WAS JUST A DREAM WHICH I WOULD EVENTUALLY WAKE UP FROM..

MY ASPIRATION WAS TO BE A LAWYER. I HAD WANTED SO MUCH TO ADVOCATE FOR WOMEN WHO WERE ABUSED. AS A YOUNG GIRL GROWING UP AND LIVING WITH MY UNCLE THEN AT HILL STATION, I SAW ABUSE METED BY MY LATE UNCLE AGAINST HIS FEMALE FRIENDS, HE HAD A HOST OF THEM,,, I CAN STILL VIVIDLY REMEMBER THAT HE HAD MORE THAN SEVEN WOMEN ALL FLOCKING FOR HIS ATTENTION. HE WAS RICH BY ALL STANDARDS – OWNING DIFFERENT BRANDS OF CARS EACH BEARING THE INITIALS OF EACH OF HIS FIVE CHILDREN THEN; EXCLUDING THE TRAWLERS AND TIPPERS THAT HE OWNED....NO WONDER THE LADIES FELL FOR HIM , BUT HE WOULD BE ABUSIVE MOST TIMES, PHYSICALLY AND, PSYCHOLOGICALLY ; ESPECIALLY IF ONE OF THE WOMEN PAID AN UNANNOUNCED VISIT AND THERE IS ANOTHER ONE WITH HIM.. WHAT BAFFLED ME TILL THIS DAY WAS WHY THEY WOULD CONTINUE WITH HIM AFTER MOLESTING THEM,, AS A LITTLE GIRL I KNEW IT WAS WRONG TO BE BATTERED AND I PROMISED MYSELF THAT I WOULD FIGHT FOR WOMEN WHO ARE UNDERGOING SIMILAR ABUSES WHEN I GROW UP...I DON’T KNOW HOW, BUT I BELIEVED THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO DO IT SOME DAY. SO IN MY OWN LITTLE WAY, WHEN EVER MY UNCLE WAS BEATING ANY OF THE WOMEN, I WOULD REVENGE BY PUTTING AN OBSTACLE IN HIS WAY WHEN THE BATTLE IS INTENSE...MOST TIMES I WOULD USE A BANANA PEEL AND HE WOULD SLIP.AND FALL.

HOWEVER, SOMETIME LATER, I RETURNED TO MY PARENTS AS THERE WAS NO FEMALE FIGURE IN MY UNCLE’S HOUSE AND MY LATE MOTHER FEARED THAT I WOULD BE MOLESTED BY THE BOYS, A DECISION WHICH ALTERED MY FUTURE. SO UPON COMPLETION OF MY FIFTH FORM LEVEL, I WAS WHISKED AWAY TO THE GAMBIA WHERE I STAYED WITH MY DAUGHTER’S FATHER.

I BECAME PREGNANT SOON AFTER I WENT TO THE GAMBIA, BUT I SUFFERED BOUTS OF MISCARRIAGES FOR ABOUT FOUR TIMES BEFORE I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO KEEP A PREGNANCY,. NOTWITHSTANDING, I HAD TO UNDERGO SERIES OF CHECK UPS AND SOME MINOR OPERATION AS I WAS NOT ABLE TO CARRY THE PREGNANCIES TO FULL TERM.. FINALLY I WAS ABLE TO COCEIVE, BUT IT ALMOST COST MY LIFE AS MY PELVIC GIRDLE WAS SMALL .WHEN THE BABY WAS DUE, I WAS UNABLE TO DELIVER THE NORMAL WAY. I HAD TO BE RUSHED TO A WELL EQUIPPED MEDICAL FACILITY A DISTANCE OF MORE THAN 5000 KM, WE HAD TO TRAVEL BY MEANS OF A HAND DRAWN FERRY AND CONTINUE ON A VEHICLE AFTER THE RIVER HAD BEEN CROSSED. THIS WAS PAST 2AM . ALL THAT TIME I WAS IN COMA. IT WAS TWO DAYS LATER THAT I BECAME CONSCIOUS; A SUNDAY TO BE PRECISE. I WOKE UP BEING SURROUNDED BY COLLEAGUES. I WAS A PUPIL TEACHER AT THE SENIOR SECONDARY SCHOOL. THEN – THE ARMITAGE HIGH SCHOOL SITUATED IN GEORGE TOWN. THE BABY WAS DELIVERED BY FORCEPS AS I COULD NOT DELIVER ON MY OWN. ALSO, I COULD NOT HOLD MY DAUGHTER AS I WAS TOO WEAK FROM THE DOSES OF SEDATIVES ADMINISTERED. HOWEVER, I WAS LATER DISCHARGED AND THE BURDENS OF PARENT HOOD SET IN...FRESH FROM SCHOOL, NO EXPERIENCE OF TAKING CARE OF BABIES, NO MOTHER OR RELATIVE TO HELP ME.SAVE AN OLDER COLLEAGUE ,

COMFORT.. SHE IS NOW IN THE US. SHE TAUGHT ME HOW TO NURSE AND TAKE CARE OF MY DAUGHTER.. GOD BLESS HER.

I RETURNED TO SIERRA LEONE A YEAR LATER WITH MY BABY AND THE FATHER WENT TO THE US IN SEARCH OF GREENER PASTURES WITH PROMISES THAT WE WOULD EVENTUALLY JOIN HIM. IT NEVER HAPPENED. INSTEAD HE SENT ME A LETTER ADVISING THAT I REORGANIZE MY LIFE AND MAKE USE OF IT AS I HAD A LONG WAY TO GO..IN OTHER WORDS, HE WAS TELLING ME THAT HE WAS NO LONGER INTERESTED IN ME AND I WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM.... I WAS DEVASTATED, BUT I THANK GOD I DID NOT END UP BEING USELESS. I TOOK UP THE BROKEN PIECES OF MY LIFE AND MY PAIN BECAME A TESTIMONY. I WENT BACK TO SCHOOL AND EMPOWERED MY SELF. I SHEPHERDED MY DAUGHTER AS A HEN DOES HER CHICK; SO THAT WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WILL NOT HAPPEN TO HER. TODAY SHE IS A MEDICAL DOCTOR. I SUCCEEDED WITH HER AND I BELIEVE I WILL SUCCEED WITH OTHER WOMEN AND GIRLS TOO.

I’VE DECIDED TO SHARE MY STORY SO THAT IT WILL SERVE AS AN EYE OPENER AND A DETERENT TO PARENTS WHO THINK THAT THEY ARE POOR AND THAT SELLING THEIR DAUGHTERS IS A MEANS OF ESCAPING POVERTY. ALSO FOR THOSE THAT FIND THEMSELVES IN SIMILAR SITUATIONS TO LOOK AT LIFE FROM A BROADER PERSPECTIVE AND TRY TO MAKE THEIR LIVES MEANINGFUL. MY PLATFORM HAS BEEN ADVOCACY; IN SCHOOLS AND COMMUNITIES AGAINST EARLY MARIAGE . EDUCATING THEM ON ITS HAZARDS AND HOW BEST TO DISCOURAGE THEM FROM THIS ANOMALY AND STRATEGIES THEY SHOULD PUT IN PLACE IF THEY FALL VICTIM...EARLY REPORTING BEING CORE. WE ALSO STRIVE FOR A POSITIVE MIND SET. WE AT AWCR EMPOWER BROKEN WOMEN AND GIRLS THROUGH PSYCO SOCIAL SUPPORT, LIVELY HOOD SKILLS AND EDUCATION . A HEARTY INVITATION IS EXTENDED TO ALL TO ENHANCE A POSITIVE CHANGE FOR SUSTAINABLE DEVELOPMENT IN SIERRA LEONE.